When I was just 16, I gave birth to a beautiful, handsome baby boy. That indescribable feeling of motherhood rushed over me like a tidal wave. My instant love for him was so intense that feelings of guilt and failure took over. I knew that he deserved the best life possible and at that time in my life, I was unable to give him all he needed. I placed him for adoption with a wonderful couple and now, at almost 13 years old, he's a smart, happy, well-adjusted young man that I have the privilege of having a relationship with. One thing I will never forget for as long as I live are the tears of joy in the eyes of his parents the first time they saw him. They had wanted a baby so badly, and I was able to provide them with that miracle.
When I started learning about egg donation, it re-ignited my heart with that feeling of wanting to give someone that miracle again. I have healthy eggs that make beautiful children. Such a small part of my body could be the biggest part of some one's life.
The process began after I found the agency I wanted to work with. I chose a local agency as opposed to a national registry. After submitting the basic application online, I received a call from Patty*, wanting to set up an interview. After talking with her at length about the process and legality of it all, I knew that this was to be my journey. Many pages of paperwork, a quick ultrasound and a vile of blood later, I was officially "in the pool". I knew that there was a chance that I'd never be chosen to donate, so the phone call I received from Patty* the next morning was a shock. "How do you feel about donating?", she asked with a giggle. A couple had chosen me, after having several donors back out mid-process. She told me that the mother was very excited that my eyes change into different shades of blue and green depending on my surroundings, because hers do too. And it just so happened that I was at the point in my cycle to start the process the very next day. Ok, God, I get it. This is Your will.
I picked up my pack of Apri (birth control) that afternoon and started it right away the next morning. To know that the mother-to-be was doing the same exact thing (our cycles have to be synced) was exhilarating; a feeling of sisterhood. Well, motherhood is more accurate.
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for loving me unconditionally. I know that You have great plans for me. I pray that You will walk with me through this journey. I pray for the parents-to-be. Lord, be with them as they prepare theirs hearts and minds for this miracle. All of this is in Your hands, and Your hands alone. I put my trust in You. Amen.
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